7. Growing Through Chaos
This past couple of weeks have been complete chaos for me. There have been so many things happening, competing for my time and attention. I've been forced to examine my priorities, drop my agenda and accept what is. And that's been hard.
I don't want to drop my agenda, especially when the things on my agenda are things that I want to be doing. But alas, there is only so much time and energy in a day.
For better or for worse, I've chosen to prioritize my kids. They're all adults now but my youngest still needs me when it comes to navigating grown up things that she's never done before, like jury duty.
I wish I could say that I always show up happy to help, but I don't. Sometimes I feel resentful and the old story of I'll never have enough time to do what I need for myself comes up.
I don't like who I become when that story takes over. In those moments I'm reminded that I can either resist and be mad at reality or I can accept what is and go with the flow. It all comes back to trusting the bigger picture and seeing these situations as a mirror for where I still have room to grow.
In hindsight, I can see that's really what this past two weeks have been about, growth. Growth isn't always pretty. The term growing pains exists because growing can be painful. It doesn't feel good to be stretched. But it does feel good to look back and see how far I've come.
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